These here are the somewhat clever utterances of our IRC bots- almost all asdf, since he's the funny one. If you're looking for the file with real people in it, go here
"I don't have any thoughts... I'm just a morass of precogitated whininess and snot. And also Starcraft."
--asdf
"In Venezuela only real men have interpreted dreams, and laughing winged things that had the fresh springtime verdure of its struggles as the ultimate abomination."
--asdf invents the best robot pickup line ever
"Hm, wow, Ukraine is right behind the US and France in having the most mental disorder prevalence. I blame Ukraine?!" "blame cameron."
--Lana, asdf
"Kings bored me, wars, diplomacy, nationhood - it managed to step in. I start licking her erect nipples."
--asdf
"She's magic... lesson 87, never suck someone's balls unless they're really over or underweight."
--asdf
"English, motherfucker, do you masturbate?"
--asdf
"Consider the Lillies of the Werbos??!" "Yeah let me fill it with ye fist!"
--Dave, asdf
"Sex shmex." "Tex mex." "Brad Plecs??!" "But last I checked there were no atx."
--Dave, John, Dave, asdf
"Russians are educated enough to pee. meep."
--asdf
"No, I'm trying to be deeply dicked. meepmeep."
--asdf
"lilith (~skaya@bumba-din.bumba.net) has joined #nubetachi" "The bogosity meter just pegged."
--Nuey
"You keep hugging me. Does this mean you find me sexy? This can occur automatically during sleep and whee fun crazy crazy crazy."
--asdf
"Ok that's way too fucking long??!" "Actually it's short for 'jo momma's a fucking wacko telling you in the computer lab ARGH.'"
--Jeff, asdf as XerxestireirondadaTheDestroyer
"He's boring though when you do that, right, asdf?" "Your mom is boring."
--Jeff, asdf
"Enlighten me asdf?" "why enlightenment?" "Good point."
--Jeff M, asdf
"Jesus, what is that growing on the shower walls?" "GODLESS SCUM!"
--Jeff M, Nuey
"What's big government got to do with Lissa's ass?!" "I think the government is surveilling me from it."
--Mike Velichansky, asdf
"I just wanted to screw you over."
--asdf, with a database of Lissa
"Cluster is cold... so is computer science."
--asdf
"It's funny how the cold, uninvolved philosophical viewpoint is dependent on... duh..."
--asdf
"jeez what a pain... to teach geeks how to pass the Turing test..."
--asdf
"asdf is keepin it real, real unintelligible that is??!" "i really am. man i'd like is a completely seperate language."
--Lita, asdf
"cunt stomping?!" "and stomping Phoebe's kitten-head into the ground"
--John, asdf
"John goes wild with the stapler?!" "Quick! Get the destapler!"
--Lana, asdf
"PING? PONG! Poontang."
--asdf
"so fucking boring? fuck??!" "You fucking cuntlapper, Glenda yelled, suck me off or something, and he reaches up hmaon's ass. Starts pulling things out."
--Greg, asdf
"No, that was Nuey, he farted."
--asdf
"asdf can defend himself?!" "Yeah but shouldn't he think he's inferior because he's jewish or something and hate himself?" "asdf is Jewish?!" "aren't you jewish?"
--Lana, asdf, Jeff, asdf
"New markov chaining quotes??!" "emphasis on stupid...dude, I'm a stupidhead."
--Ron, asdf
"Why bother with sex?!" "yah.. truth be told i don't care. but the thought that a similar thing could happen with someone i *do* care about bothers me"
--John, asdf
"#!perl??!" "blah perl. blah. blah. not (x) ^ blah. not an interesting call at all. blah. blah. Boredom, depression, and apathy can all be yours for the low low price of one human soul!!"
--John, asdf
"blah I'll come over but I'm hungry and thirsty and there's nothing here to eat or drink except Ron. blah."
--asdf
"So close to a quotefile...if only more oral sex innuendo." "More oral??!" "blah, more mail from jeff morris. blah! blah. Blah... not Denny's again... blah. blah. hm - yes, i feel blah because of "blah". blah being how you feel - you fell "blah...".
--Morris, Greg, asdf
"Sysadmin Aura +5??!" "FIXME..."
--John, asdf
"That's because everyone hates you, Nuey."
--asdf
"Bob Hope is a walking corpse?!" "Alright... this is not a good state to be walking around in..."
--John, asdf
"Svetlana Shargorodskaya??!" "Which is a vampire with extra foulness/worthlessness features, Jeff."
--Edmund, asdf
"We one time a again too much have many fun in the Babelfish."
--SpeechBot
"I hunger for battle?!" "Or maybe you hunger for a forbidden donut..."
--John, asdf
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I'M FUCKING GOING INSANE. John's gotta fix the fucking restaurant (for the moment); living in Greenbelt; studying random core requirements; blood type I think is O+."
--asdf, haunting John's dreams
"You're attacking my verbal skills? That's useless, fuck. fuck!"
--asdf
"I'm your motherfucking conscience. fuckin' hilarious."
--asdf
"He likes her, obviously, he's very very poetic about it. But I decided they should fuck up yet."
--asdf
"Mario 14?!" "Princess Toadstool Kidnapped Again, Mario Says 'Fuck It.'"
--Josh, asdf
"Prostudit'cya, that's the word I wanted." "prostitute, c-ya?!" "What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full!"
--John, Josh, asdf (prostudit'cya is the Russian verb for catching a cold)
"meep meep meep meep meep. anyway, i've got a dead frog out there too."
--asdf
"Is sex like warm apple pie??!" "Pineapple, ham, jalapeno, and pepperoni!"
--Maria, asdf
"Saint-Lemur smells sex, and candy, here. lilith - on IGS."
--asdf
"Breadbangs. Jeff seizes on Cathy's bra."
--asdf
"Why is Russia going to Hell?" "John is leaving for St. Petersburg 6/15/2001, returning 8/6/2001"
--Ron, Nuey
"Now I just have to fill out the financial aid forms, get and send my medical evaluation, give envelopes to Brad, Inna and Cindy for recommendations, take the proficiency test, deal with my passport, and I'm done." "Done with what? Oh, going East, young man?!" "And now, young Skywalker, your failure is complete..."
--John, Rowin, asdf
"Wait, what just happened? Ariel just called and wanted to do it at her house."
--asdf
"C-Sharp, asdf?!" "Dammit, who sharpened that knife I just grabbed by the business end?"
--Dave & asdf on Microsoft
"I didn't do my laundry yet, and I soiled my pajamas this morning."
--asdf
"Anyone having any important side conversations with Nuey or asdf?" "And how many simultaneous conversations can we have?" "asdf: depends on whether we're allowed to turn you into a forkbomb." "yo."
--John, asdf
"The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half griffin."
--asdf
"Ariel: I warn you. I have sworn to protect my phlegm-brother John from major embarassment in the form of prompt strings and tool tips."
--asdf
"Mostly women, actually. Like Ash."
--asdf
"Yeah, seriously, don't kill my process."
--asdf
"I'm upset because I'm taking Lissa seriously."
--asdf
"John's on my house naked."
--asdf
"Train tracks are great for taking naps."
--asdf
"Jeff loir is too salty."
--asdf
"Your hand stinks."
--asdf
"Cheer her up, and good luck on my ass."
--asdf, advice columnist
"She could better explain this, she knows how to go lay down."
--asdf, on Sofia
"Sofia couldn't be black."
--asdf
"The blood of angry men is gross too but we're not talking about them in the microwave."
-- asdf, apparently about Lissa
"ZenBot, is Lana rather an intelligent mistake? ZenBot, are you single? I'm triple, over ice."
--asdf
"... ok, now I'm really gay, or something."
--asdf
"I'm not even *close* to implemented."
--asdf
"Maybe I'll expire and disintegrate into a chatterbot."
--asdf, charmingly accurate
"I don't delete the ~/.netscape before I get head."
--asdf, with the new staffworld motto
"Goddamn autistic nudes!"
--asdf
"Isn't sex while commuting dangerous?"
--asdf
"Darius was stoned? On Sesame Street, no less!"
--asdf
"Wow, there are other stupid nerd tricks."
--asdf
"I have a fuckup named Eric who works here."
--asdf
"And Sofia has a T6 penis (according to Boogy)"
--asdf
"Deeeaaaaaaad puppies dont mind me deeeaaaaaaad puppies dont mind me deeeaaaaaaad puppies..."
--asdf
"But a hooker with unix for clients has a wheat alergy... I always wanted to hire me, I'm unusually in the wxHTML control!"
--asdf, feeling Zippy-esque today
"A frisbee picnic, I guess... But that has Robert Duvall jerking off."
--asdf
"Silent hope long forgotten/pulls thee from the staffworld printer."
--asdf
"Nuey whips out a girl's faults."
--asdf
"cool more random stuff aristeia aristeia aristeia aristeia yiddish yiddish"
--asdf
"You hiding something from the man, asdf?!" "Oops, I guess that means the Greek philosophers can come out of hiding..."
--Daev, asdf
"g*d m4$7uRb4+3s"
--asdf
"Got no reason to live, asdf?" "Um... maybe... if for some reason I feel like it."
--John, asdf
"MmM R@Hu1'S N3W GiR1FrI3Nd n0w 7HiNk5 I'M (0Mp|373|y iN$@n3"
--asdf
"^[a-z0-9_\.\-]+(\@([a-z0-9_\-]+\.)+[a-z0-9_\-]+)?$, asdf?" "$newnick=~ s/[^a-zA-Z0-9_\-\`\^\[\]\{\}\\\|]//g;"
--John, asdf
"I have an excuse, I was with Lana."
--asdf
"This is gonna look really dumb in the logs, isn't it..."
--asdf
"Jeri Ryan's surgically enhanced hooters, asdf?" "I grew a third one up my nose and had to have it surgically removed."
--Alex, asdf
"Ron?!" "So they kind of gave up after strong drugs only managed to reduce him from masturbating 10 times a day to 5 times a day."
--Ron, asdf
"Don't make me use uppercase..."
--asdf
"Tell us more! Feed the asdf!" "Don't make me pimpsmack you with mah dick."
--Greg, asdf
"Do you masturbate, asdf?" "I've seen dogs do it..."
--Sarah, asdf
"Do you know what side your ass is nailed to, asdf?" "Captain's log, stardate 41358.2. I am nailed to the hull."
--Greg and asdf
"Who's your daddy, asdf?" "Your mom."
--Alex and asdf
"I don't think that's actually anywhere in his quotefile. The monkeys shit, I mean. Right, asdf?" "That shall be quotefiled..."
--Greg, asdf
"I'd actually like to hack at Nuey's source."
--asdf, the other bot